It was all George W. Bush’s fault.

Yes. The plight of Governor Eliot Spitzer is another proof that Bush’s abstinence-only sex education does not work.

The fall of Governor Spitzer to the commonest of human urges should be a clarion call for action. Spitzer, a straight-shooting, crime-prosecuting, ethics-brandishing governor should have known about the potholes of wire-taping, gotcha game. Many, now smiling in prisons, owe their prison time to Spitzer’s perfection of that game.

Spitzer knows to think of how any of his action will look, the day after, on the front page of the Daily News before engaging in such acts. But for reasons definitely beyond his control, the man who went to Albany to fix the place fell on the same sword many politicians have fallen on for hundreds of years.

One shrink came on TV immediately the news broke to say that the governor as Attorney general was fierce in his fight against prostitution because he was fighting his sense of guilt. And that what happened the night before Valentine’s Day in Washington DC was that Spitzer was so tired of the hypocrisy that he wanted to be caught.

So Jesse Jackson wanted to be caught. Bill Clinton wanted to be caught. Bob Livingston wanted to be caught. Newt Gingrich wanted to be caught. Larry Craig wanted to be caught. I don’t buy it.

What I know is that, now, we have to admit it - we are losing our best politicians to itches of the flesh – quite worse with those flesh parts without bones. Something has to be done here or we risk having just men with erectile dysfunction in public office. You must have seen them in Viagra advertisements. Do they look like candidates for governor to you?

My suggestion is simple. Let us use politicians as test cases. Let us support a law that will allow politicians to marry more than one wife. Let it be one fringe benefit that will attract talented people into public service.

Considering the fact that they travel a lot, make so many speeches, shake so many hands, they need special touch to relax after all those hard works. If we let them have a wife in Washington, one on each stop along their constituency and another in their vacation home area, our politicians will be calmer and happier. And maybe they will begin to pass laws that ordinary people can understand.

For women politicians, they can have as many husbands as they like. What is good for goose Hillary is also good for gender Obama.

After passing this generous law, a politician caught with a prostitute would be forced to marry him or her. We know it is feasible because Eddy Murphy has done both him and her. That way there will be no more exploitation of the less privileged, minimum-wage-earners in our midst.

If after one year the law seems to be working, we can extend it to the general public. For one, it will bring us closer to the culture of our sworn enemies. In effect, it will nullify one of the reasons why they hate us- becoming a case of using one stone to kill two birds –like Pamela Anderson and Dolly Patton.

Think of it, if we had done this long ago, our Republican Party would have had Rudy Giuliani perambulating as a nominee and not the angry old man, John McCain.