On a recent visit to Germany, I observed that Germany, like most western nations, has lots of Africans who are seeking refuge from economic, social and political annihilation that home has become. As part of the struggle to stay in these western countries, Africans are often faced with no other option but to marry citizens of the host countries. Such marriages are often initiated as a marriage of convenience, sometimes, with the knowledge and full cooperation of the parties and at other times, without the knowledge of the foreigner.

There are essentially two types of Africans who partake in marriages with foreigners - those who do so out of love and those who do so for “papers”. Those who marry for love are in the minority. But even then, their stories are not any better. Few years into the marriage, when love begins to wane and cultural differences begin to emerge, the marriage begins to experience intense strain. In some cases, it does degenerate into a house of bickering and conflicts just as those whose marriages were fraudulent.

African men are reputable across the globe for the way they treat women in general. With foreign women in situations where the men are in a relationship for other reasons, it becomes rather vicious. Stories abound of men who have done horrible things to women in the name of marriage. It is especially disgusting when the woman is one of the trusting and loving kinds who put in their all to make such relationships work.

Over the years, the nature of these relationships has been transformed. As more and more citizens of these western nations become aware of the ultimate intentions of some of these new comers, they make adjustments they feel are suitable to protect themselves. More often than not, these adjustments result in the subjugation of a new comer into years of virtual slavery. Most women are now unleashing unimaginable humiliation on African men.

Experiences differ. Some are pleasant. Some are horrendous. The dynamics of such relationships are so complex that accurate prediction of events is often impossible. There could be extortion, blackmail and sheer wickedness along the line. In Dusseldorf, a Nigerian man described what he passed through for seven years as “living in bondage”. Another one told me it was a form of “youth service” (apparently parodying the mandatory and unpaid National Youth Service Corp program for Nigerian graduates).

This is the world that Africans in Europe and other western capitals live in. The casualties of the circle of deceit, mistrust and vengeance are the innocent ones who have good intentions. The constant reinforcement of the prevailing stereotype means many more years of emotional and psychological ruin for all participants.

Also trapped in these webs are the children that are often by-products of the relationships. Each day the world is being populated with children of Africans born abroad to foreign women, many of whom will be abandoned and never to know where their fathers came from. In places like Germany where black and multiracial children have no spot to stand, a new subclass that will be alienated from mainstream German society is being produced. Their fate will be different from the one that befell Barack Obama, a product of such a relationship.

… to be continued.